To my Darling Daughter,
I have been churning on this topic ever since you told me about your friend who had gotten pregnant and then un-pregnant. I am distressed about this, by the cavalier attitude with which it seems some girls treat this topic and their bodies, even at 15 and 16. I am distressed every time I see that boy at the pool, just wondering if he knows how close he came to throwing some serious monkey wrenches in his future, her future, and the future of a potential unborn child. This is serious stuff.
I am by no means naive to how this sex stuff works for young people. The temptation is just so strong. And I am by no means ignorant of the fact that virginity and purity and chastity is not the norm. Frankly, it wasn't the norm 30 years ago either, honey. It was the 80s and 90s, not the 1950s. There was more stigma, sure, and it happened more in secret and hidden. But it happened an awful lot. I had a lot of friends who were pretty free and easy with it. And I know that modern times are all of that and even more so...
OK, so here is the straight talk. At some point in time in the not-too-distant future, a very handsome, and hopefully sweet, young man is going to fall victim to your big beautiful brown eyes, your intelligence and humor, and start taking you out. You will be alone with him, there will be lots of time and temptation. And no matter how excellent his character, he is wired differently than you. He is wired for physical connection, and you are wired for emotional connection. This is the way God has made us, and there is nothing wrong with it, within the proper timeframe and bounds. I would urge you to be very slow, to expect to be treated by him with the utmost respect from Day 1, and that should NOT CHANGE with multiple dates. Your temptation will be to confuddle physical connectedness with emotional connectedness. Please don't do it; don't give away what is solely yours to try to stay close to someone. And if that someone demands more and more, under the premise of keeping a close connection with him, run far, far away. That is not an appropriate or respectful demand.
There will be a time and a place for everything in your life, and keeping yourself as pure as possible in many potential ways will be appreciated by some very special guy in the future. I actually think about that guy, whoever he is, and pray for him a lot. I pray that he is being raised by a good Christian family, that he is trying his hardest all the time to fight the physical temptations that surround him and assault his eyes, that he is being raised by a strong and respectful Dad and Mom to treasure young ladies and treat them like princesses.
I am always there for you to talk these things through. I will never yell at you for being honest with me and bringing me things you need to talk about. My promise to you.
All my love,
Mommy
I have been churning on this topic ever since you told me about your friend who had gotten pregnant and then un-pregnant. I am distressed about this, by the cavalier attitude with which it seems some girls treat this topic and their bodies, even at 15 and 16. I am distressed every time I see that boy at the pool, just wondering if he knows how close he came to throwing some serious monkey wrenches in his future, her future, and the future of a potential unborn child. This is serious stuff.
OK, so here is the straight talk. At some point in time in the not-too-distant future, a very handsome, and hopefully sweet, young man is going to fall victim to your big beautiful brown eyes, your intelligence and humor, and start taking you out. You will be alone with him, there will be lots of time and temptation. And no matter how excellent his character, he is wired differently than you. He is wired for physical connection, and you are wired for emotional connection. This is the way God has made us, and there is nothing wrong with it, within the proper timeframe and bounds. I would urge you to be very slow, to expect to be treated by him with the utmost respect from Day 1, and that should NOT CHANGE with multiple dates. Your temptation will be to confuddle physical connectedness with emotional connectedness. Please don't do it; don't give away what is solely yours to try to stay close to someone. And if that someone demands more and more, under the premise of keeping a close connection with him, run far, far away. That is not an appropriate or respectful demand.
There will be a time and a place for everything in your life, and keeping yourself as pure as possible in many potential ways will be appreciated by some very special guy in the future. I actually think about that guy, whoever he is, and pray for him a lot. I pray that he is being raised by a good Christian family, that he is trying his hardest all the time to fight the physical temptations that surround him and assault his eyes, that he is being raised by a strong and respectful Dad and Mom to treasure young ladies and treat them like princesses.
I am always there for you to talk these things through. I will never yell at you for being honest with me and bringing me things you need to talk about. My promise to you.
All my love,
Mommy
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